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By Katie Hall
"EEEEhhh, EEEEhhh, EEEEhhh," the alarm beeps annoyingly. Once awakened, the day starts innocently with the first cup of coffee. But after that first cup takes hold, so does the day's imperious "musts" and "have-tos": Dressing self, kids, and getting out to work. Working. Then coming home, with kids, dinner, bath, bed. But where to find space in the middle of the mayhem? How to get over the overwhelming "have-to's"?
As a wife, mother of two children, full time employee, and part-time student I wanted to see how other women are pulling off the simple act of getting through the day. I reached out to another woman, a mother of three, wife, and full-time student, as well as employee.
"I don't feel I'm doing a very good job as a mother," I told the woman. Wrestling with the kids, the housework, and the husband were getting tiring. "How do you do it?"
"I have a good husband" was the instant reply. In addition, she'd shown her kids (two in elementary and another in junior high) how to help out with the housework. "They have to help," she said. "I can't do it all."
To begin I made a weekly schedule dividing the household chores. What immediately became apparent was the lack of time after work to do everything. One night was devoted to soccer, and two other nights I was out of the house at 7:30 for work.
In addition, I realized that I don't ask my husband for help. I gave up years ago expecting help from him and found the household ran smoother if he wasn't involved. But this takes its toll.
A new study came to my attention which shows that we have more leisure time--not less--these days. This was news to me! In the controversial "Time for Life," authors John Robinson and Geoffrey Godbey studied leisure time in the last 30 years, and found that "Americans now enjoy an average of nearly 40 hours of leisure time a week -- up from 35 hours in 1965" according to a June 5 Associated Press story in the "Washington Post."
"We knew people felt more rushed. We knew that stress levels ...seemed to be going up," said Godbey, a professor of leisure studies at Penn State University. "We thought more free time would slow down the pace of life, but what we're finding is free time is increasing as the pace of life increases."
The study made me wonder: What am I doing with my time? I began to look at my day. As a reporter, I can leave work at 1 p.m. on a day when I have to cover a 7 p.m. meeting. Both kids are in day care until 3-4:30, depending on when we are able to pick them up. I began to play with the flexibility my job offers.
I started prioritizing my free time to include more time with the children and more time with myself, limiting work hours. Previously I'd worked from seven in the morning to three or four o'clock in the afternoon without a break, breaking the time up with an hour in the middle to go home and eat and take a half hour walk. I also picked the children up early and whisked them away to the beach a couple of times a week. My husband, who has no personal time alone, really appreciated an hour at home to himself; then when I had to leave the house at night for a job or commitment, he didn't feel so overwhelmed.
Where before I had felt bogged down by the rush of life, I began to feel that things are looser and more spacious--if I pay attention to what is actually going on and start getting creative with how I spend my time. If I cut out two hours in the middle of the day before going back to work and make goals for those two hours, I use the time more efficiently. I begin to feel more in control.
This, however, is just the beginning of my time awareness. My dream is to keep track of my weekly leisure hours over a month period, learn to ask for help from my husband and peel the spandex Wonder Woman outfit off my body!
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