Book Review

"The Princessa" is about power - women's power. Machiavelli wrote a book called "The Prince" which gave instructions on how to gain and maintain power through domination and the control of others. Most women are uncomfortable with this kind of power. Often we abdicate power altogether and accept positions of helplessness. Other women pursue this male model of power and find it's a game they don't win and they too find themselves powerless.

According to Rubin, women won't win this power game because they're playing with someone else's rules and on someone else's playing field. The Princessa plays by her own rules and moves the game onto her own field. A striking example of such a woman is Magda Trocme, a French woman who sheltered Jews in her home during the Nazi occupation. Madame Trocme wouldn't accept the Nazi reality. She refused to lock her doors and they left her alone.

"The Princessa" is about playing a win-win game where we don't fight against our opponent's strength but rather, use it for our own benefit. Rubin encourages us to think creatively, to make sure we get what we want, and to believe that we deserve it. She talks about not letting our ego be more important than our goals. Most of us will walk away from our goal when experiencing the slightest amount of embarrassment or humiliation. Rubin says make the goal of utmost importance. When opponents see that we value our goals and stick with them they eventually give up trying to oppose us. There are no answers here for particular situations, although she includes many examples in the book. Rubin encourages us to think about every situation in new ways, to develop creative solutions and above all to believe that we deserve what we need. No more self-sacrifice - no more taking only the last morsel. This is a book for women who are up to living life to the fullest. Rubin shows us that we have the power to live the way we want without crushing anyone else. It is a book that will offer new insights every time it's read. We can all be Princessas every day.